How many times has fear crept up on you and left you paralyzed?
I bet you have said to yourself at one time or another something along these lines:
- It just was not meant to be (AKA- I failed and I give up)
- This always happens to me (AKA - I failed and I give up)
- I did not really want to do it anyway (AKA- I failed and don't want you to know how bad I wanted it)
- I will do it next week (AKA- If I do it today- I might fail and I am not prepared to deal with failure)
- This is just my luck (AKA- If I act like I expect nothing of myself, I can never fail or disappoint myself)
Have I hit home yet? Guess what- YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Half of the reasons we do not get ahead and accomplish our goals is because we did not mentally prepare and get out mind into the right place. I am sure you are wondering now, well..
How the heck do I do that?
I thought you would never ask! I have taken on this nifty trick that has gotten me through some of the scariest decisions I have ever made and it is something that I want for you as well.
This is a 2 part process so let's start with Step 1
1. Let go of the need to be CERTAIN of the outcome. According to Tony Robbins, and a test he often recommends called the Six Human Needs one of the most common highest needs is a desire for certainty. I know first hand about this because it is what keep me in a career I hated for nearly 20 years. In working with law and finance for 20 years, it fought against every grain of my being as I am someone who thrives in helping others and being of service. Fear of the unknown and leaving this career and my steady paycheck is what had me feeling trapped and burdened by the unknown possibilities. As I gradually began to embrace new challenges, and small victories where I allowed change and uncertainty into my life is when I started to feel alive and truly step into my deepest and truest self.
2. Define the outcome if no action is taken. Take a moment and look at your problem. Imagine something that you want to do but that you are scared to move forward on.
- Now imagine that no action was taken or that you never tried.
- What are the results of remaining status quo and how will it negatively impact your life?
- What is the worst case scenario if you NEVER do it?
- How will that hurt you and what will it affect?
- Who else is impacted by this decision in your life?
- By not trying, how will it affect them?
- If you see yourself in 5 years, in the same place and did not take the initiative to make that move, how do you think you will feel when looking back?
- What will that affect have on your life in 5 years?
- How will others around you be impacted in five years?
- How do you feel this in your body now that you are stuck and not moving through where you need to be?
Make this exercise as VIVID AND BOLD as you can. The uglier and more deep you go with it the greater impact you will have. The key is we are often more motivated by pain than pleasure. So using this as your focal point to push through where you are stuck, can take the shift away from fear as your goal becomes to avoid pain. The pain of not trying ends up to be far worse than simply trying something and not succeeding.
Remember to fail forward and embrace failure. It means that you tried and got out of your comfort zone!
What will you try TODAY that you have been putting off?
If you need help with making this boldly unbearable, and build a plan towards execution- shoot me a message and we can certainly chat!
Amanda Scocozzo, CPC, Business Strategist